The 10 kinds of App-Holes we’ve seen

Who is an app-hole, you may ask. App-holes are people who lose all sense of social etiquette the moment they’re holding a mobile phone. They may spend up to 36 hours a day looking through, and downloading apps, or playing with them. EVEN IN THE COMPANY OF FRIENDS!!! Being on social media and other apps should never be at the cost of being social. Hands up, if you’ve ever encountered any of the below app-holes.

1. The app-holes who’re so social that they’re antisocial

We get it, it’s not terrible if you want to take a food pic or a selfie or do a check-in. But whether you’re at a café with friends or on a date, you don’t have to Facebook it, Tweet it, Instagram it, Whatsapp it, AND Snapchat it. Pick one (if you absolutely HAVE to); the goal should be a gentle patter of information, not a blitzkrieg.

2. The play-Candy-Crush-with-me app-holes

If you’ve ever been on Facebook, the odds are incredibly small that you haven’t seen a status update or news feed item about Candy Crush. You’ve also equal odds of seeing memes from people who’ve had enough of it. We’re also not surprised therefore, that there’s a petition doing the rounds on social media to ban Candy Crush requests.

3. The nosy-parker app-holes 

What’s more annoying than a friend who thumbs through his apps? Someone who thumbs through yours. Show them an image on your phone and before you know it, they’re swiping through your photo gallery, your apps and what not. I don’t know why people do this, but if you’re one of these people: cease and desist.

4. The they’re-not-playing-our-song app-holes 

It’s YOUR party and you’ve taken the trouble to put together a pretty awesome music playlist. Just then, a friend walks in and pronounces the music ‘boring’ and before you know it, he’s docked his mobile on your system and is blasting Honey Singh. Suddenly, everyone wants to have their own music played. Your carefully-curated, mood-setting party playlist just went for a toss.

5. The plot-spoiler app-holes 

We get it, you actually had the time to watch the new episode of GOT or read the latest Harry Potter book before the rest of the world; but must you ruin the story for others in flaunting that achievement? We think not! And remember: Hints are spoilers too. Saying anything to the effect of “THERE’S A HUGE TWIST AT THE END, but I’m not going to tell you what it is” is just as bad.

6. The random-photo-clicker app-holes

Being on Instagram doesn’t give you the right to take pictures of strangers without their permission – even if you find their baby cute, or their clothes interesting. And if you’re at an event or at a party, please exercise discretion and don’t just snap, upload and tag anything and everything you see. Not everyone wants to live their life online, like you.

7. The app-holes who hog the charging station

You’re at the airport, your battery just died and you need to call your neighbour to ask her to check if you’ve locked the house. But the only charging station in sight is hogged by a ditsy girl who refuses to let you plug in saying she has something important too – when it’s fairly obvious she’s actually flicking through her Facebook feed. Don’t hog the juice, girl! Your world isn’t going to fall apart if you don’t check into Foursquare.

8. The app-holes who tweet while driving

It’s shocking to see the number of people with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the phone. Apart from your map apps, most apps are unsafe to use while driving and only permissible if you’re using them hands-free.  We strongly recommend that you not do it, as the human mind simply can’t concentrate on two tasks simultaneously. It’s not even a sign of poor etiquette, just an incredibly dangerous and foolish thing to do.

9. The app-holes who derail conversation with YouTube videos

Sure, YouTube can be entertaining, but you can’t resort to it every time you’re with friends at the table. There’s only so many cat and Baba Ramdev videos one can watch at a go. It’s a dinner party dude, not a bring-your-own-Youtube-link party.

10. The app-holes who check their phones obsessively at the cinema

These are the ones who have to keep checking their little screens even while they’re in front of the big screen. Not only do people still talk on the phone during movies, but we now get app-holes who text, tweet, or simply check their mobiles endlessly —looking up some obscure factoid or bombarding social media with their thoughts on the film.