Fretting over fitness? Don’t get cross. Get CrossFit!

8 years ago

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Involuntarily advocating CrossFit becomes a thing once you cross that ‘I don’t think CrossFit is for me’ threshold and actually Do it. With time, it becomes a lifestyle you cannot ignore anymore. The perks that come with it include, but are not restricted to stamina, strength, flexibility, power, speed, agility, co-ordination, balance and accuracy. Given it’s surreptitiously called an ‘anti-aging drug’, girls, it is advised you get on to this train right away. Men are already doing it, but women – YOU need to try it. And if 1 isn’t enough, here are 30 reasons why :

CrossFit is not for the faint hearted. Girls, we are not faint hearted. Let’s show them boys.
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It’s not called a Gym. It’s a Box. How cool is that?
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You will finally figure out why treadmills were basically a waste of money your whole life, that gyms have never really helped you. All they have done is made you fatter after leaving them.
For all you know, the other girls, the most they have done today is crossed the road in their stilettos and got themselves a martini. But you, you’ve done 10 reps of 40 lbs. kettlebell swings nonstop.
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Because you will start respecting what working out in the dirt is really like.
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You find yourself becoming that person who only visits Nike, Adidas & Reebok for their monthly splurge on clothing. Decathlon, literally becomes your new place of worship.
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You know all the breakfast joints in your city by heart, pretty much can nail an explicit x rated stuffed omelet at home and raid every grocery store to find the perfect cut of ham to go with it.
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You start developing this unique workout lingo where you talk WOD (Workout of the day), BOX (the gym), REPS (repetitions), TIME (the exact time you finish your workout in), AMRAPS (as many rounds as possible), CLEANS and JERKS (barbell pull-ups). Sort of like the infamous ‘p’ language. Except this is way cooler.
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You fall into this love/hate relationship with burpees (they have nothing to do with burps girls, it’s a term).
Sports bras become your new addiction!
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You want to scream at all your unfit friends and can’t believe you used to be that person once upon a time. Now you can’t go one day without working out.
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You start liking the person you are becoming.
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There are Men. And then there are Men who do CrossFit. You thank god because for once in your life, you made a good decision.
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You find yourself craving steaks. And develop a shy liking towards broccoli & protein shakes.
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Highway to hell becomes your new favorite track.
You don’t find yourself cheating on any workouts. Because trust me even though you know nobody’s looking, your coach is. And he will give you a penalty. Extra burpees. And you would rather choose death than do an extra set of burpees.
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You will know all the stretches there are under the sun and you will find yourself stretching at odd hours during the day.
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You will find yourself confidently saying no to sugar. Brownies? What are they?
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You will curse yourself why you didn’t find CrossFit earlier. You could’ve been on the cover of Vogue by now. Damn.
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You find yourself eating three balanced meals every day and forget what starvation is.
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You unknowingly join a cult that respects meat and sweat.
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Life goals will change. For your brand new new years resolution, you hope to nail a mean handstand at the box without wall support or a steady 24 inch box jump with a soft landing. You have no idea what we just said right?
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Because you look forward to cheat days. When you can chill out, have a few beers, pizza and it’s all okay because you have earned it.
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Because you would get more flexible. And flexibility is never a bad thing.
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Because your booty could potentially replace JLO’s. Hell you would be able to squat your way through parking tickets.
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Your new happy hours would be the ones you spend at the box.
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You might start investing in 5-pound protein shakes (cookies and cream flavor) and kick all typical ‘women don’t drink protein shakes because they get muscular’ myths out the window.
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Because it doesn’t matter how long you take to finish your workout, it counts because you didn’t give up. You crossed the finish line.
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You see your body change. drastically. All applies only if and when you take control of your food, alcohol and smoke intake. Unless you don’t eat, drink or smoke. But then, you are not human. so, anyway our point is, nothing else gives you more motivation than when you see your curves toning up.
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You basically leave a BADASS or never leave at all.
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