Homosexuality in India needs dialogue with ‘open arms’, says LGBT activist offering free queer hugs

The United States’ recent move to legalize gay marriages has struck a ‘victory for love’ from coast to coast in the country. While the LGBT community celebrates this historic decision in the US, India tries it’s own luck at a similar justice. One such case in the city of Bangalore is both heart warming and unique.

26-year-old Sunil Chauhan is a confident man, who shows all vigour one would need to change a long held societal belief. His task is no cake-walk. The youngster aims to educate and change people’s attitudes towards the LGBT community.

On June 21, 2015, along with some of his friends, Sunil held a ‘Queer Hugs’ drive at Bangalore’s famous Brigade Road, wherein he spoke to people around about LGBT issues and added a sweet hug to send his message of equality across.

Sunil and his friends caught the eye of many and for a good cause too. Folomojo spoke to the man himself and he had some pertinent issues to address. Sunil not just spoke to us about the ‘queer hug’ drive, but also about what would help change the reticent attitude of some towards homosexuality.

1. What inspired the ‘Queer Hug’ drive at Brigade Road?

My friends and I wanted to meet people and educate them about the LGBT community. In the past, something similar has been tried out in Delhi and Hyderabad. Our aim was to get in direct contact with people, instead of building a foundation on superficial engagement. It was all about speaking to the society directly and that’s what inspired us to take this route.

2. Did you feel more accepted as time went by?

We didn’t experience any negative responses from people. We got neutral as well as very positive vibes from most of them. Nobody seemed hostile and they patiently listened to what we had to say. What was surprising that that most of them were even open to share their own views.

3. Are people in Bangalore ready to talk about LGBT issues?

Yes, very much. We were holding placards and asked them to write their thoughts as well. Some of them had great things to write about like ‘Our God, our children’, ‘Go on, the world is with you’, ‘LGBT or not, discrimination is wrong’ etc.

But there were also those who believed that we are a premature democracy, and are not ready to bring these issues out in the open. There were also some who thought that we should restrict our voices to the bedroom and not shout about it in the open.

But I think you can’t be one thing inside and another outside. The restrictions are many and you aren’t being yourself. Like for the transgenders, if they couldn’t express themselves they wouldn’t be able to wear a saree. There are many restrictions. And being gay is not about sexual preference alone. There are many other factors.

4. What do you think is the way forward to change people’s attitudes towards LGBT issues?

I think what we need is a dialogue. A dialogic exchange can do wonders, that is what we aimed at with the gesture. Talking directly to people will help all of us in openly talking about these issues and it wouldn’t remain superficial.

It’s important to have them know that we are no different from them. Even amongst us there are the good, the bad, the brilliant, the dull etc. There is no separate set of rules that we live by. In fact, unless revealed, one wouldn’t know who is gay and who is not. We are the same as other people and have our own likes and dislikes just like them.

5. Have you spoken to your family about being gay? How have they responded?

No I haven’t spoken to them as yet, as I haven’t had the time to. They live in Ludhiana and I wasn’t sure how they would take it. But I have spoken to my friends and colleagues and they have been accepting and supportive. Though to some it came as a shock, they have wrapped their head around it and also talk to me about it. This has encouraged me to come out in the open and soon I will tell my family. With them too it will have to be a dialogic process and not just about saying’ Hey you know what I am gay’.

6. Have you planned a similar gesture in the future and what else do you plan to do?

My friends and I have decided that every month we would go to a different area in Bangalore and spread awareness. We are also distributing pamphlets. We want people to come out and talk about these issues in the open.

7. What is your message to people who still think homosexuality is unnatural? If you have heard of the Delhi doctor’s case, what do you think of such incidents?

I don’t know why doctors talk about it as if it’s a disease. It’s not. It’s not as if you can inject testosterone and change someone’s sexual preference. Sexuality is of the mind too, not just of the body.

8. Harish Iyer posted the first gay matrimonial ad. Do you think that has opened the way for better understanding of the issue?

Harish Iyer is such a big name. Yes of course that sends out a strong message and will definitely influence people’s opinions. It definitely is a great thing.

First Harish Iyer and now Sunil Chauhan. These brave young lads are standing up for themselves and also others like them in ways you simply get awed by. Dignity in being is most important and these guys are willing to take that extra step that would make it possible for ‘all’.

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